What might be the word that Michael needs?
« The glamorous life of the word guru | Main | That "irresistible impulse" » December Word Fugitive06 Dec 2008 04:24 pm
Michael Muslin, of Chicago,
writes, "After my girlfriend observed that train commuters with wheeled
briefcases navigate their rolling offices without regard to anyone
else, I realized I needed a word to describe an object which indicates the user
to be a jerk. Cell phones used to be this type of object but, due to their
ubiquity, are no longer."
Comments (54)
Jerkoutrement? Flakecessory? 
Kingsley Amis often used the term "wanker-detector."
objects d'amoron
How about "primadolly"
Excessory
I'm tempted to call the owner a cockalorum. But to get to the object: an objerc or prosthetic lout? Some folks flash their ostechtation and need the latest i-Tem. And many a salesperson has a smarmament. Or perhaps they have assessories?
Dumbbellishment? Dorkoration? Parafoolnelia?
My word to describe an object, such as a wheeled briefcase on a train or just about any piece of luggage seen at an airport, that indicates the user to be a jerk is: PULLDOZER
Objet d'ork
.
My word used to describe this is...rollus jerkus, or maybe jerk-o-sapien.
The object is a loutabout, and the person carrying it is a _______-lugging loutabout. So it can refer to either of the pair.
unwheeleding (unyielding)
Fox News
How about crankchaffe? Or nutknacks?
Stuff packed by jerks in public would include business or office excessories, various hand held annoyable devices such as MP3 players you can hear even though the listener is using earphones and cell phones with downloadable custom irratones. This transit user is also bugged by smackpackers knocking him of his feet with their anvil stuffed packs on their backs.
Cart Jerks
Howzabout 'Lugatrolley' ?
We've used the term "Douche tell" using the term tell as an external non verbal tip off to an internal state, commonly used by card players. If anyone is unfamiliar with the insult "douche" or "Douchebag" try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fad6eZTDikA or this: www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com
Douchebag was covered in the comments a few posts back.
Sorry. Must have missed it.
We could perhaps refer to the entire category as "excessories", and rolling suitcases in particular as "ego-carts."
Hey, wallyz? Let's try to keep it reasonably tasteful here, OK?
An "offendage"
Issues of taste aside, I think wallyz suggestion is off. A "tell" is some sort of a tick or gesture that gives away what a card player is thinking, not a variety of accoutrement. I also think the thread is generally caught up in the excessory d'jour being a cart/having wheels. As Mr. Muslin himself points out, cell phones used to be an easy way to ID a jerk, but no longer. Carts today, but something else tomorrow (supercilious blog commenting perhaps?) We need a word that can remain unchanged even as the offending object changes!
supercilious blog commenting perhaps? That would be a tell, douchebag.
Jerkcessories. As noted above, besides wheeled briefcases, the category includes large backpacks (watch out!), and bluetooth headsets (warning that you are about to be treated to an extended one-sided conversation about something braggy). The old standbys are still out there.
Hmm..., a large, wheeled object that shouts "Get out of my way!" and instantly brands the user a jerk? Why not call it a "hummer?" This also gets at the elements of rude obliviousness, self-importance, and conspicuous consumption that cell phones used to have. Hummers will never become as ubiquitous as cell phones, either, while they will always retain their conotation of giving the entire world, climate included, the finger. Thus, it should always retain its meaning.
I liked Rudi's but I'd change it a bit-- "Objet d'argh," using my family's favorite expression of annoyance.
Since the jerkitude usually has to do with people's self-absorption and/or obliviousness to those around them, I propose "Narcissesories."
Statass symbol?
encroacher-roaches
objet boor
Assessory.
BRIEF JERKIES Question is, is jerky plural with an "s" or an "ies"? In addition to the popular beef association of the word "jerky," something my eldest son eats with abandon, my dictionary also offers the following two definitions of "jerky": 1 characterized by abrupt stops and starts : shallow, jerky, irregular breathing. And apologies to Barbara--I initially posted this on your word fugitive submission page. Does that make me a "submission jerky"?
The cell phone was to '02, what the Hummer is to '08. So I rather like the idea of giving the word itself---hummer---new meaning and status by using it to describe the whole category of annoying object-owner-operators..."What a Hummer." But for creative punch (and to avoid the other unfortunate connotation), I wouldn't mind going with, "Bumhummer!" or "Hummerbum!" or "Hummerbummer!". Terribly silly, but then that's the kind of thing I imagine murmuring under my breath in that given situation.
Andrea, I like the hummer thing. Hummerbum is the kind of thing we'd say in our house as my boys are obsessed with the car (which I hate on many levels) and will still shriek whenever they see one, but also because we have a strange familial obsession with bums (as in rumps). Go figure. Silly is good and it beats that crass "D word" used many times above.
Let's repurpose "agitprop."
For those thoughtless individuals who wield their rain protection like a sidewalk-clearing weapon, place their dripping umbrella on the subway seats, or open them up while still on the stairway: I call these urban sins "umbrellonies."
For those who never get past the self-absorption of a 3 year old, I'd suggest "brattish symbol"
Wait! Wait! Is it too late to post here?
Not sure if it's too late for this one but ... my word for the thing that signifies someone as a jerk is: douche-flag (n): a symbol which signifies its owner as a certifiable douche bag.
To refer to a class of various objects to indicate the user to be a jerk, I suggest thinga-ma-jerks or rude-aica.
It's a little bit on the vulgar side and a little bit on the British side, but I think "objet d'arsehole" sums it up quite nicely.
Loser-friendly seems obvious
Wheeled briefcases, all-in-one mobile media devices, and other objects that indicate their users to be jerks are clearly MALAPROPS.
I believe that any object a jerk uses should be coined an "impudent-aid".
How about "obliviobstructor" or "barricretin?" The latter would be uttered through clenched teeth, with emphasis on the third syllable.
shitboleth
The form of the vehicle suggests that the offensive person is pulling a "prickshaw". Generically, you might call the offensive loads "asshauls".
These items are clearly prattish symbols!
These are all things that are "ego-nomically designed."
Omniimpotence
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Try obstreperous.
Posted by Jim | December 7, 2008 9:41 AM